Tiger Woods Scandal Erupts in Estonia

As women around the world step forward claiming to have had affairs with Tiger Woods, Estonia is no different. "I slept with him dozens times when he played golf in Estonia," said local tabloid star and self-acclaimed sex bomb and dictionary author Anu Saagpakk. "We did it twice in the back of his Cadillac Escalade."
As of ten a.m. local time, dozens of women were lined up outside the headquarters of the sleaze tabloid Kroonika. "I want to be a star, too," cried a young woman who claimed to have slept with Tiger over "three-hundred-and-fifty times over two weeks in Florida." Maarja Maitsetu, deputy editor, finally chose to ask those who had not slept with Tiger under two dozen times to remove themselves from the line. "We've contacted the US Embassy for help with this problem," said Maitsetu, "since about half of these women claim to be pregnant with his baby." Representatives from Estonia's Channel 2 were on hand to interview the women, hoping to put together a new reality show to run opposite The Bold and the Beautiful. "We're thinking of calling it 'Tigergasm,'" said a Channel 2 spokesman, though we're still open to new ideas.
Woods himself issued an apology on his website: "I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions [in Estonia] with all of my heart."