Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Naughty Knickers Suffer Blow

The city of Tallinn, struggling to make up a gap in its seven billion kroon budget for 2010, will institute a host of new taxes next year. In addition to its existing 20% VAT, it will add sales tax, a boat tax, a pet tax, plus a 800% tax on Latvian chocolate. "We will no longer tolerate the fact that Laima makes a chocolate bar called Tallinn which sells in our stores for far less than our own Kalev chocolate," said city spokesman Jarko Järepea. "We will no longer tolerate that Latvian chocolate is sold on our very own Tallink boats while Estonian chocolate is not." In another slap against the Latvians, Järepea said the naughty knickers products of Lauma would be taxed at a similar rate. "Let Estonian women buy their underwear at Kadaka Market," he said, "or let them wear nothing at all."

6 comments:

  1. Count of Monte KopliDecember 2, 2009 at 6:51 AM

    We are in serious trouble with this budget. Soon the Estonians will be taxing the length of our turds.

    ReplyDelete
  2. skippyDecember 2, 2009 at 6:54 AM

    You are correct Count. Yesterday there was man with a tape measure in my bathroom who I didn't know. I chased him away but I have a feeling he'll be back.

    ReplyDelete
  3. klotyDecember 2, 2009 at 7:22 AM

    Hey Count,

    I was really thinking it was you, how is writing the chronicles, I even speculated about this in my blog kloty.blogspot.com. Seems I have to correct myself. But who is then the unknown genious, who has enough time and passion to write all these articles?

    ReplyDelete
  4. observerDecember 2, 2009 at 7:41 AM

    Count can't spell. Whoever is writing this can spell.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousDecember 3, 2009 at 4:31 AM

    I think Järepea was misquoted. He actually said, "Let OUR OWN Estonian women buy their underwear at Kadaka Market."

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousDecember 7, 2009 at 10:37 AM

    "I was really thinking it was you, ... Seems I have to correct myself."

    Ever heard of black operations? The Count is still responsible, whether he acknowledges these posts or not. We'll get to him, and we'll have some unfinished business with him.

    - Edgar S. from Tallinn

    ReplyDelete

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