Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Estonians put off death

Statistics show that the economic decline has not brought an increase in the mortality rate this year Postimees writes. “The total expected number of deaths is 16,140 this year, which is 600 smaller than last year,” said population research Professor Margit Tulika. She said "this is remarkable, since economic declines normally boost mortality rate,”
But according to one professional, Estonians can’t afford to die. "Death is expensive,” said Juhu Surnukeha, director of Laibamagi Funeral Home. Postimees conducted man-on-the-street interviews with Estonians who support this theory. Said Juhu Peaaegu, “I was going to die a month ago, but I just can’t afford it, so I’ve decided to put it off until the economy improves.” Tallinn resident Kairit Kalmistu agreed. “I've been needing to die for years now, but Mayor Savisaar’s death tax makes it impossible for me to do so, cause I don’t 'qualify.' It’s an embarrassment – just look at me,” said the 147 year old woman. “I’m a prune!”


  1. An obvious business idea would be to start selling full-service travel packages to countries where dying is cheaper. Just imagine the ads:

    * Die tax free in Gibraltar!
    * From Belorussia to eternity: our death service provides great value for money.
    * All deaths 50% off in Bangladesh!
    * Your life's not worth a kroon in death-friendly Afghanistan!

  2. A great idea!

    * Buy two caskets, get two free! Bring the family to Moldova, and take the family with you!