Estonian Man Accused of Helping with Dishes After Holiday Meal

If convicted Martin Muna will spend the rest of his life in prison. After a Christmas meal of blood sausage and head cheese, Martin found himself in the kitchen washing and drying dishes. "I don't know what came over me," he said after being taken into custody by members of KaPo (Estonia's FBI) who were patrolling the streets and looking through kitchen windows for offenders just such as Martin. "I know that as an Estonian male I have no obligations whatsoever in the kitchen, but I just felt like doing something nice." More than "no obligations whatsoever," an Estonian male is actually forbidden by paragraph 37-9 of the Estonian constitution from "lingering or loitering near a food preparation surface for more than five minutes in any 24-hour period."
"The evidence against Muna is quite strong, and I believe we'll have no problem getting a conviction," said Estonian State Prosecutor Peeter Pisipeni. "Muna is just lucky he won't swing from the end of a rope," Pisipeni said, referring to pre-EU mandatory sentencing requirements. Prior to EU entry, use of deodorant, drinking water with meals, and failure to smoke at least one pack of Rumba cigarettes per day were offenses punishable by death.