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The new statistical rules: All good numbers will be rounded up. Bad numbers shall be rounded down. Really bad numbers shall be explained by insufficient sample size or omitted from reports altogether and/or blamed on Russian cyberhackers. Especially good numbers shall be printed in a type size larger than 18, while bad numbers should always be printed in type size 8 and located only in document appendices. If statistics are particularly unfavorable on a repetitive basis, such as in Latvia or sub-Saharan Africa, new statistics may be made up.
J'accuse! Jean-Claude Trichet, above, is taller and better dressed than Jürgen Ligi.
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