Estonia vs. France: Eat Like Ze Pig, Work Like Ze Dog

Estonia will compete with France for organizing and housing the EU's IT Agency. The IT agency would administer the Schengen information system database and the EU's joint visa information system. At present, these databases are operated from servers located in Strasbourg, which suggests France may have an advantage when competing for the new agency's location. However, under an agreement of the European Council, an advantage is given to new member states. According to some, however, the decision will be made in the time honored tradition, based on menu choice in the cafeteria. Said one EU insider, who wished to remain anonymous, “How can kana sült (chicken jello) compete with confit du canard?” In an exclusive interview with Jean-Jacques Fricassee, the Directeur General of the EU Agency Site Selection Committee, offered the following observations:
“In France, when we dine, we go in groups, avec les reservations. We argue over ze menu. We query le garcon about ze freshness of ze duck. We smoke our Gauloises, and discuss ze matters of ze world while we enjoy our lunch. It is ze highlight of ze day, and tres civilized, non? In Estonia, we observe that at lunch, ze workers order ze – comment dites-vous, ‘soljanka?’, bon - then they sit, point ze face down to ze table as if they are afraid ze soup will escape if they do not watch it v-e-r-y carefully. Bon, and they eat ze soup without ever looking up to see if there are other humans to speak to. They finish rapidement, and in 10 minutes return to ze work. Ach de lors! Zis attitude is against everything the EU stands for. Estonians will never win ze EU agency, as long as they eat like ze pig, and work like ze dog."