Tuesday, January 12, 2010

American Marines to Occupy Estonia's North Coast

In June, 500 US Marines will land on Estonia's northern coast. Eesti Päevaleht reports that the equipment the Marines will use may be seen in the movie "Saving Private Ryan." Marine Corps General Ticonderoga Bill Basterwaite, reached at the American Armed Forces headquarters in Frankfurt, confirmed the report. "Those bastard journalists got it exactly right this time. Five hundred of the meanest sonsabitches you'll ever see will land using vintage WWII equipment which is so out of date it's absolutely useless to anyone, and then we'll be spared the expense of hauling it out of your country. Like those Swedish Army bicycles, we'll call it foreign aid and just leave it behind to rot in your front yard."
The landing will take place on June 11th, and all are invited. General Basterwaite suggests a battleside picnic of strawberries and champagne. "And take quality moving pictures," added the General, "so those Russkie bastards can see how World War Two equipment can still shake the ground beneath you."

3 comments:

  1. If Eesti Päevaleht really wrote that the exercise would resemble "Saving Private Ryan," then the writer is a complete moron. At Normandy there were 1,213 warships, 4,126 amphibious craft, and more than 25,000 troops on Gold Beach alone. Only a moron would consider 500 Marines to be something similar.

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  2. Anonymous:

    Don't forget that there were more than a few Germans pointing big guns at them.

    And coq au vin in the Normandy villages, vs. uhepajatoit ja piima soup in northern estonia.

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