Thursday, February 25, 2010

Russian Hockey: How a Loss Becomes a Victory

“Same thing like if it was the Canadians,” Russian player Ilya Bryzgalov said when asked the ramifications of Russia's quarterfinals loss to Canada in hockey. “It’s a disaster. End of the world.” But it was only the end of the world in the West where viewers witnessed Canada thrash Russia 7-3. In Russia, Olympic hockey viewers were treated to a 8-0 victory over the Canadians with carefully edited footage plus a corps of skater/actors on call to deliver critical needed goals.
"Much like what the Americans did with Neil Armstrong's moonwalk, we recreated the Olympic stadium right here in this Moscow studio," said Ivan Klyzhevoski, mastermind behind the Russian victory. "Right here is where Coach Vyacheslav Bykov shed a tear after the victory." Klyzhevoski said Coach Bykov's speech was pre-recorded and followed closely a script sent to him by Kremlin administrators.
Asked if allowing foreign journalists in to cover the faked victory wasn't defeating the purpose, Klyzhevoski remarked, "When Russian citizens hear that you are reporting a victory for Canada, they will know that it is you who are making propaganda. Russia does not lose in hockey." Klyzhevoski concluded the tour of the stadium "where Russia will win the Vancouver Gold" with the Russian tradition of the bling chest, each journalist encouraged to stick one hand into a chest of gold necklaces keeping whatever that hand could hold.
Ilya Bryzgalov (above) celebrates Russia's 8-0 victory over Canada.

6 comments:

  1. CA NA DA. CA NA DA. CA NA DA.

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  2. s ucks. s ucks. s ucks.

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  3. Ilya Bryzgalov has a striking resemblance to Alexander Ovechkin.

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  4. Bryzgalov and Ovechkin share the same mother but have different fathers. Every true hockey fan knows that.

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  5. as possible that we lost, it is amazing that now the losing is winning again please stop being so mediocre.

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