Tuesday, February 23, 2010

AirBaltic's New Acquisition Tactic: Hinting

"Let's say I'm a girl who likes a boy but I don't want to approach him directly so I might tell a good friend or I might go the media and just hint around about it or maybe I'd hire a PR firm or you just never know," said Janis Vanags, Vice President of AirBaltic who seemed to suggest last week that his airline would be interested in purchasing a portion of Estonian Air. Estonia's national airline is owned by SAS (49%), the Estonian state (34%), and the investment bank Cresco (17%). Vanags added that "a certain girl might be willing to go to prom if one of three boys would ask her. And they don't even have to ask nicely."
Estonian Air's spokesman Lauri Lennuk, when contacted by the Livonian Chronicle, said that "the girl has not been direct enough about her interest and therefore the boy lacks sufficient grounds to approach with dignity. You can't just go straight up to a girl and ask, you know." SAS, for its part, characterized itself as "one of those slutty girls who is only interested in cash, so if a certain boy is interested then he should just like buy me a flash car or something." Cresco, when confronted with the analogy and dialogue to date, was unsure whether AirBaltic was the boy or the girl in the scenario. "Aren't we making something rather simple into something quite complicated?" asked Cresco's spokesman. "These tiny airlines really aren't worth their weight in drama." AirBaltic's Vanags said his airline would "continue to make itself look pretty in hopes that a relationship could be consumated."
AirBaltic employees (above) want to share their love and happiness with Estonian Air.

10 comments:

  1. What is this? why must you write about silly things like this, when there is so much in the world worth writing about. Get a grip, livonian chronicle. and while you're at it, get spellcheck.

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  2. Dear Epp, you crack-smoking Estonian with one too many P's in her name:

    Did you see the televised interview with Mr. Vanags? Could the Estonian press be a bigger lapdog and whore for AirBaltic? Need a story published which is not news but completely in your own self-interest? Call up the Estonian press and they'll put you on television.

    Spellcheck? Why don't you buy Punctuationcheck?

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  3. Leave Epp alone. Estonians are a humorless people. Someone once pointed out that Estonia is the one nation in the world which does not have a single stand-up comedian. Someday scientists will study Estonians to determine how it is possible to smile less than Finns.

    But it is interesting how business is able to manipulate the press in the Baltic. It happens frequently in Latvia too. It's as if the press doesn't stop to think 'Why does this company want me to write this story?'

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  4. And, by the way, I would personally love to see AirBaltic buy Estonian Air if Estonia could be guaranteed direct flights to European capitals. But I fear a culture clash. AirBaltic is quite aggressive in business and Estonian Air the complete opposite. But if Estonian Air can't decide what it wants to be (peanuts for sale or peanuts for free?) then let them get eaten by the Latvian wolf.

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  5. Edgars, English is my third language, so my punctuation is not consummate. But at least I can fucking spell. Whats your excuse? Don't tell me you're Latvian..

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  6. What did they misspell? I don't see it.

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  7. Anon, Then you're a consummate idiot. And although Epp appears to be one of those consummately angry divorcees, I think she's got a point.

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  9. Dr. Phil's right. I love you Epp. And you're right, by the way, they did spell 'consummate' incorrectly in the article. I notice that they pretend they didn't by diverting attention with that happy face thing in an article today. I'm sorry I couldn't admit that fact earlier. Thanks to Dr. Phil, I'm working through my issues with denial.

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  10. I think I love you, Edgars. Who the fuck is Dr. Phil?

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