Monday, February 15, 2010

Russia Last in Vancouver Medal Count

"We're not exactly last," said President Dmitri Medvedev, interviewed in the stands. "We are tied for last with those who have won medals. There are many countries who have won zero medals." True enough: Russia is tied for last with nine other countries, the United States leading the medal race with six.
Latvia has yet to win a medal, though after a death in the luge event, their maintenance workers from Sigulda were flown in to slow down the track. "We thought if anyone can make a fast track slow it would be the Latvians," said Sliding Center chief Rene Antoine, as he collected the empty bottles left behind by the Latvian workers. The Lithuanian team, also medal-less, has set a record for number of bars of soap stolen from hotels, though Vancouver organizers say no medal will be awarded. Estonia's Kristina Smigun is readying herself for the cross country skiing events and was seen yesterday training on the course with a large banner reading Will Ski for Sausage. Smigun is sponsored by the Rakvere Meat Factory from Rakvere, Estonia. Smigun spent time laughing and joking with other nations' athletes while distributing buttons reading Ask me about my sausage.

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