Latvia Strikes Deal to Buy Hummer

Confessing that "our bling-dependent, simple-minded citizenry cannot exist without them," Valdis Zatlers, the President of Latvia, announced a deal to buy Hummer from General Motors. Negotiated in the eleventh hour after GM failed to reach a deal with Chinese heavy equipment maker Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machines, Zatlers said he was wearing pajamas in bed and smoking a cigar as he did the deal over the Latvian LMT mobile telephone network and not the Estonian product Skype. "The initial idea," said Zatlers, "is to gut the Occupation Museum and turn it into a first-class Hummer showroom," but the president allowed that many other ideas were on the table, as well.
Latvian businessmen were quick to offer kudos to the state for striking the deal, seeing opportunities to sell vast quantities of the vehicle in Russia. "Did you know," said businessman Edgars Lazo, "that Russia does not have a paved road connecting one end of its country to the other? It's true. Look it up. Thanks to the Latvia Hummer, Ivan in St. Petersburg will now be able to visit his cousin in Vladivostok. Can Skype do that? I don't think so."
Valdis Zatlers' personal lime-green Hummer with smoked glass and Asanti alloy urban wheels.