Latvian Political Parties Update Image

Two of Latvia’s ruling coalition parties - New Era and Civic Union – have decided to merge. The formation, approved by Civic Union on Saturday, will be called Unity. New Era members will vote on the merger February 13. Explaining the name choice, Unity spokesman Sandijs Savieniba said “We tried to join our names together, like NEWCIVIC ERAUNION, but that sounded like a Japanese car commercial.” On hearing the news, other Latvian political parties rushed to update their images. The party of Aivars Lembergs, the Union of Greens and Farmers was first. Zals Zemnieks, their spokesman, said, “We thought our new name could be Greens & Farmers, Ha Ha Ha, cause who ever heard of Greens teaming up with Farmers? We needed something to capture that 'out there' image we cherish. And after more than nine minutes of debate, we’ve selected Planet Zog, and the motto It’s not a place; it’s a party.
Andris Skele’s office announced that his People’s Party has changed their name to Robin Hood & His Merry Men, “Because,” said spokesman Barons Bledis, “like Robin Hood, we steal from the rich and give to the poor.” Asked what they give to the poor, Bledis said “Usually, a swift kick up the ars to help them get up, get a job and stop sucking off society's tit. Lazy buggers. I hate the poor,” he muttered under his breath.
Latvia’s First Party / Latvia’s Way issued a press release saying, “Name changes are mere political grandstanding, and we refuse to participate in this charade.” The statement was signed by First Party’s leader, L. Ron Hubbard, formerly known as Ainars Slesers.