Tallinn's Unemployment Tax

The growth of number of new jobless continued in Estonia in November reaching 84,178, or 12.8% of workforce Postimees Online reports. According to Liina Laisk, spokesperson for Tallinn Mayor Edgar Savisaar, this is good news. “This will boost the city’s revenue, thanks to the new unemployment tax Mayor Savisaar has imposed,” she said. “Now every one of those layabouts will now have to pay the city for their time on the dole.”
Responding to accusations cold hearted taxation, Laisk said “Cold hearted? That’s nothing. We’re taxing baby food, babies, mothers, breast milk, and smiles,” she said with a straight face. “This is merely the last in a line of new taxes. Under Mayor Savisaar, Tallinn city’s new policy is ‘if it moves, tax it.’ But we have made an exception for the unemployed. Our tax will reach them right where they lay parked on the couch.”

10,200,000 Estonians Out of Work

According to Statistics Estonia, the unemployment rate rose to 1146% in 2009, which is the largest number of unemployed since the restoration of independence in Estonia. According to the Estonian Labor Force Survey, currently there are 10,200,000 unemployed people, which is several times larger than the entire population of the country. But the good news is that the increase in unemployment has stopped.
“Sure, it’s good news.” said Eero Sepp, formerly the director of the Estonian Labor Force Survey, “But it only stopped because there’s nobody left to be unemployed. Shit, the government’s imported nine million Uzbekistanis just to fill the unemployed positions.” Eep Pihlakas, former assistant director of Statistics Estonia, agreed. Said Pihlakas, “Our data show there are only 13 jobs left in Estonia, all at Hesburger, and nobody wants to work there.”