Monday, March 15, 2010

Cuddle Parties Reach Baltic

Billed as a way to allow participants to experience non-sexual group intimacy, the cuddle party has finally reached the Baltic. Edgars Lazo, director of the Latvian Cuddle Party Association, organized the first all-Baltic cuddle party which took place at his home in Jurmala this past weekend. "Neighbors thought it was an orgy which is wasn't," stated Lazo in a police report. "Well, it at least wasn't supposed to be."
Witnesses' sworn statements demonstrate that while the guests showed up prepared to simply cuddle, once the physical contact begun they could not control themselves. "All it took was one buy to start bumping and grinding and it was game over," reported one participant. The Latvian police say orgies in Latvia are neither unusual nor illegal and the state lacks grounds for legal action. However, the International Cuddling Association, has begun proceedings to bar Balts from organizing cuddle parties. "Cuddle parties are about cuddling," said certified cuddle party facilitator Linda Jean Borfirst, who was on hand at the Latvian-organized event as the cuddle party lifeguard and later reported the Latvians to the ICA. "Rule one of the cuddle party is that pajamas stay on at all times. Rule 12 is to show up on time," said Borfirst. "Latvians broke these plus rules two through 11." Latvia's next cuddle party, also referred to as a "puppy pile party" or "contact comfort gathering," is scheduled for this Saturday in front of the Freedom Monument, weather permitting.
In Latvia (above), cuddling led to pajamaless penetration. Veterans claim this violates the spirit of cuddling.

No comments:

Post a Comment