Medvedev Makes Nice

Relations between Russia and the Baltic states must "step over their previous ideological stereotypes, which were created before us," Russian President Dmitry Medvedev said at the Europe-Asia media forum in Moscow on Wednesday. "I would like for relations between the Baltic states and Russia to improve. There was a golden era of relations we must struggle to return to,” he said. “We were in harmony you and us, moving towards the future, hand in hand. And I pledge to you that I will do all in my power to see to it that we return to that peaceful era before 1990, when we enjoyed mutual respect, prosperity, and you knew when to shut up and do as you’re told. And our foot was on your neck. Yes.”

Baltic Kremlinologists Analyze Medvedev

Immediately, following Medvedev's Moscow speech about improved Baltic relations, the Baltic states engaged their kremlinologists to determine the meaning behind Medvedev's words.
"He was careful to use the word 'paper,'" noted Latvian analyst Aldis Arbeit. "If you take away one 'P' then paper is an anagram for 'rape'." Estonian analysts were particularly interested in Medvedev's choice of media. "I observed that he did not use Skype," said analyst Jaak Juust. "I must think more about the greater significance of not using e-communication." Lithuanians, their airlines bankrupt at the moment, were not present for the Moscow meeting.