Obama to Mention Estonia in Nobel Speech

An advance copy of Obama's Nobel acceptance speech has been leaked and journalists around the world shocked by its contents. Much of the speech focuses on Estonia. "Estonia is a small country," reads the text, "but it is technologically advanced and the creator of Skype." Aides say Obama has been heavily influenced by tourism brochures about Estonia which he keeps by his bedside. He apparently has already spoken with First Lady Michelle about the possibility of educating his daughters there. "Today, as I accept this award, Estonia--which is only an overnight ferry ride from Stockholm--is on my mind with its 1.3 mobile phones per capita and unspoiled nature," reads another passage from Obama's speech.
Aides said now that the speech had been leaked it would likely be changed before delivery to the his Norwegian audience. Whether the Estonia-related passages would remain aides could not say.

Baltic Kremlinologists Analyze Medvedev

Immediately, following Medvedev's Moscow speech about improved Baltic relations, the Baltic states engaged their kremlinologists to determine the meaning behind Medvedev's words.
"He was careful to use the word 'paper,'" noted Latvian analyst Aldis Arbeit. "If you take away one 'P' then paper is an anagram for 'rape'." Estonian analysts were particularly interested in Medvedev's choice of media. "I observed that he did not use Skype," said analyst Jaak Juust. "I must think more about the greater significance of not using e-communication." Lithuanians, their airlines bankrupt at the moment, were not present for the Moscow meeting.