Ansip accused Pihl of employing KGB methods

Estonian Prime Minister Andrus Ansip responded to the accusations leveled against him by the chairman of Social Democrats Jüri Pihl, stating that they were “repulsive and depressing.” Ansip said “It is sad that a political leader no longer wants to deal with solving the problems facing Estonia and is instead using KGB-like methods to achieve political success.” When asked for specifics, he continued “we had a meeting scheduled. Suddenly, someone slaps a hood over my head, throws me in a van, flies me to a Lithuanian horse farm, beats the bottom of my feet with a horse whip and accuses me of being a pashtuni jihadist,” apparently confusing KGB with CIA methodology. When this correspondent pointed this out to him, Ansip replied “oh yeah. Never mind.”

Norway UFO a Latvian Hoax

NBC News ran video footage of a strange, spiraling pinwheel-like object in the sky, which has captivated the world since its appearance. Some speculated it is CIA technology deployed in relation to Barack Obama's Oslo visit to receive the Nobel Prize. Further investigation revealed the pinwheel to be part two of a Latvian hoax. "First they dug the crater," said Oslo police spokesman Thor Torstenfœøörgen, "and now this." Two Latvian men were discovered behind a onion truck with a powerful flashlight, its beam projected skyward through an empty vodka bottle. "Well," slurred Latvian Ainars Lazo, "you can't project these things through a full vodka bottle, can you?"