Estonians Grieve: No Mention of Them in Nobel Speech

Obama disappointed slightly under 1.5 million people yesterday when he failed to mention the Republic of Estonia in his speech. Afghanistan, Somalia, North Korea, Zimbabwe, Dhaka and Kigali were mentioned, but not Estonia, though research showed many viewers believed Dhaka and Kigali to be Estonian resort towns.
"They took all the lines out about Estonia!" said Jaan Jelp, who had gathered outside the American embassy to protest the speech revisions. "Obama was going to mention us!" A copy of Obama's Nobel acceptance speech which was leaked to the press yesterday, clearly showed Obama's plans to mention the small country of 1.3 million people.
A spokesman for Estonia's Ministry of Culture said thought Estonia should develop its own prize to compete with the Nobel, but reserve it for eastern Europeans only. "That way we'd win something other than a music prize now and again," he snipped. American Ambassador to Estonia, Michael ("call me Mihkel") Polt, suggested Estonians should not be bent out of shape by Obama not mentioning them. "You will have your day in the sun," Polt said in a formal statement. "Although I haven't seen it in the sky since my arrival last week."

Norway UFO a Latvian Hoax

NBC News ran video footage of a strange, spiraling pinwheel-like object in the sky, which has captivated the world since its appearance. Some speculated it is CIA technology deployed in relation to Barack Obama's Oslo visit to receive the Nobel Prize. Further investigation revealed the pinwheel to be part two of a Latvian hoax. "First they dug the crater," said Oslo police spokesman Thor Torstenfœøörgen, "and now this." Two Latvian men were discovered behind a onion truck with a powerful flashlight, its beam projected skyward through an empty vodka bottle. "Well," slurred Latvian Ainars Lazo, "you can't project these things through a full vodka bottle, can you?"